she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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