Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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