I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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