OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
