he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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