So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
