toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize