Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You pole danced in your parka.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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