So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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