The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
