Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
