At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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