I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
