Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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