I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
