Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone came in the potted fern
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
