you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
