Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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