HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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