You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
