is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He felt like a one man threesome
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
