i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
