last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
