we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
