When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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