Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Couch. On fire.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
