i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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