her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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