its not stalking. its research.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
