"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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