I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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