dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
