I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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