): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
