wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Where are you guys?
Drunk
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
