yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
