I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
