She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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