would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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