You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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