There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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