i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
