That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize