kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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