I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
