He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
