I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
