whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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