we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
