i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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