Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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