we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
never play flip cup with pint glasses
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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