Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
