im drinking this country out of the recession.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
